


Talk

by PotterCrew



Series: Pottercrew's tumblr prompts [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Partners, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Talking About the Past, prompt, stake out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 12:09:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14790278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PotterCrew/pseuds/PotterCrew
Summary: A prompt from my TumblrSometimes talking about the past is the only way to fix it





	Talk

**Author's Note:**

> This was for a prompt on my tumblr which I will link to at the end. I am sorry for the typos and grammar.

“Spit it out Potter” Malfoy sighed and Harry blinked and looked away in embarrassment. He should have known that Malfoy would see, Malfoy notices everything. But he couldn’t help himself, it was hard, trying to ignore the thick black lines across Malfoy’s skin. He had tried, the months they had been partnered together, he really had. But it was easier to ignore it in an office with mountains of paperwork between them. Here, in a muggle bed and breakfast on a stake out sitting besides one another was a whole other matter.

This was not their first assignment together, but it was the first overnight one. Glasgow was a known hotspot for smugglers and the ministry had deemed them good for the job, so, here they were watching for their targets behind charmed windows, waiting. They were ordered not to do anything. Just chart the comings and goings from the building across the street.

It wasn’t a hard task, in fact it was mind numbingly dull, that’s probably why Harry’s eyes had wandered over to his partner and subsequently the dark mark which stood out on Malfoy’s pale skin.

“What was it like?” He knew his voice was close to a whisper but he couldn't bring himself to talk about it normally. This wasn't a normal conversation.

“What was what like?” Malfoy mumbled, looking away from him towards the building opposite. The moonlight bathed his features, adding shadows to his haunted expression.

They were sat in two uncomfortable wooden chairs, that were found by the dressing table on the other side of the room, supplies laid out on the window sill before them, looking into the street below. Malfoy picked at the parchment in front of him, waiting for Harry’s response.

Harry looked everywhere before answering, at the only bed in the room- something that had lead to an awkward conversation about sleeping in shifts- to the door that lead to the ensuite painted a horrid orange colour that did not match the decor of the room at all, then finally landing back on his partner.

“Getting it?” he knew he didn't need to specify what 'it’ was.

Malfoy sighed heavily but he did not look at him and Harry wasn’t sure whether that made it easier or not.

“Painful Potter, this isn't a badge of honour you know, at least, it wasn't for me. It's a brand, a mark of ownership. It's there to remind you not to fail and who you belong to” Malfoy took a deep breath before continuing. “I thought it was an accomplishment at first, but it wasn’t, I heard him tell me father that I belonged to him now, that the only Malfoy heir was now his”

Harry felt disgust rise in his throat, not at Malfoy, but at his father and his involvement with Voldemort, at everything he put his family through. He knew Malfoy wasn’t innocent, knew that he wasn’t just the product of his father’s failings but that didn’t mean he deserved to be treated like a piece of meat. Like a bargaining chip.

“And then I failed him” Malfoy’s voice was quiet, like he was scared to carry on.

“Malfoy-you don’t, I’m sorry I asked. I shouldn’t have brought it up” Harry rushed, not wanting Malfoy to re-live whatever happened that night. He knew Voldemort, knew what happened to those who had failed him.

“Don’t you think it’s time though?” Malfoy turned towards him, watching Harry with eyes almost black. “We’re partners now Potter, responsible for the other’s life. Don’t you think it’s time we spoke about these things?”

“Yes but-”

“But what Potter?” Malfoy’s voice was quiet “If I were anyone else-”

“NO!” Harry snapped, surprising even himself with the force behind his words “It’s got nothing to do with that”

“Then what?” Malfoy asked, exasperated.

Harry swallowed, he knew Malfoy was right, that it was irresponsible of them to keep skittering around the past. But a part of Harry knew that once this door was open, he wouldn’t be able to stop. The past would come pouring out of him until he was left open and vulnerable and he didn’t know if he was fully prepared for it.

Especially not on an assignment.

But part of him wanted to talk about it, was relieved that someone other than Ron or Hermione wanted to talk about it. It didn’t matter that Malfoy had been on the other side, he knew what happened, had experienced the war like he had.

If Harry was honest with himself, he had been waiting for this conversation. Not only for the reasons Malfoy pointed out, but for the fact that he and Malfoy should be friends, should they not? If they are working together? Plus they knew the same people, hung around in similar social circles most of the time. Wouldn’t it just make it easier if they got everything out in the open and tried to sort through it.

There was something else, something deeper that Harry had tried to overlook ever since he and Malfoy had been partnered together. He wanted to like Malfoy, he wanted to spend time out of work with him, get to know him, become close friends. He had seen glimpses of it, their senses of humour complementing each other more times than not, their personalities matching too. They wouldn’t have made it this far into working together if they didn’t...would they?

Harry wasn’t stupid however, he knew it wouldn’t be as easy as it sounded, knew that they both needed to hear some hard truths from the other, knew that they had to come to an understanding, something that everyone that knew them would say was an impossibility.

Harry didn’t end the conversation like he knew he should. Instead, he leaned back on his chair and faced Malfoy. “Alright”

“Alright?”

“Alright as in yes, we should talk about it”

Malfoy looked out of sorts for a moment before nodding. They both turned back towards the street, they still had a job to do and it was a good thing both of them were good a multitasking.

“Where should we start?”

Harry took a deep breath. He didn't know and that was the problem. The problem with the two of them, the history they shared was too complex and long to discuss in one night. It was ridiculous really, for all the stuff they had to talk about, it could take weeks and that’s without the arguments that would probably happen.

“I-I don't know” Harry sighed.

Malfoy pursed his lips for a second before he asked “What about the war?”

“Straight in there I see” Harry snorted “Though I guess we should get the worst over with” he conceded.

“Ask me then Potter-wait” Malfoy squinted “You see him?”

Harry looked down and nodded, his quick notes quill moving in front of him describing the man’s characteristics.

“What was it like, having him there?” He knew he didn't need to specify. He saw Malfoy tense. This wasn't going to be an easy conversation. He kept his eyes trained on the man entering the building, then at the door as it swung shut.

“What do you think it was like?” his tone wasn’t harsh like Harry had expected, it was quiet. “It was hell” he let out, Harry still didn’t look at him and was sure Malfoy was grateful for that. “It was no longer my families home, it was his. He took it, it wasn’t offered to him and my mother and father couldn’t do anything about it. I knew my father thought that it would help keep him in Voldemort’s esteem. I didn’t, in fact it gave him more to ridicule my father about, as well as using us to keep him in line. But that’s the price you pay I guess, to have power. Not that my father had a lot of that by that time”

Harry nodded, knowing Malfoy would notice it. He carried on “I tried to stay away from it as much as possible, when I realised that...that I was wrong- that he was wrong. Severus-” He broke off and Harry had to bite his lip at the wave of emotion that passed through him. It still wasn’t easy to hear the names of those that had died and if hearing the name of his old potions professor hurt him, then he knew it must be excruciating for Malfoy.

“Severus warded my rooms as well as he could, as well as my Mother’s” At Harry’s raised eyebrow Malfoy scoffed “It’s common for pureblood couples to have separate wings in their house, of course they have a shared bedroom but they have others as well. Anyway, Severus did all he could but he couldn’t stay at the manor all the time” Malfoy stopped “Those were the worst times” His voice sounded as if he was far away.

Harry looked down at his parchment “I always thought-before this- that his followers would be respectful towards each other in his presence” Harry said quietly.

Malfoy snorted “His presence made it worse. All they did was clamber over each other for his attention and his praise, like children. He’d encourage it sometimes, the in fighting. It was something to keep him occupied when torturing others got bored”.

“Oh” Harry said simply. He had no idea and he couldn’t stop the question as it flew from his lips “Did they hurt you?”

Malfoy let out a sharp laugh “Why Potter? Is your hero complex kicking in?” He drawled, but Harry could see the anger under the surface.

“No!” Harry snapped “I just- it’s in the past now so there’s nothing I can do, I just wanted to ask”

Malfoy was quiet for a moment and Harry was scared he had ruined it already, they hadn’t even been talking for ten minutes! But he had to ask, he had to know. He needed to know.

“Yes” He said and Harry froze, breath stuck in his throat as his fears were answered before he could answer Malfoy was carrying on. He spoke quickly, obviously wanted to get this bit over and done with. “They came in groups sometimes, mainly Greyback and others. They-they obviously thought it would be entertaining to torture the ‘little lord of the manor’ as they put it” Malfoy had a scowl on his face now, but something gleamed in his eyes, something vengeful “It was just spells at first, just little hexes and charms, but it changed. For all that they spoke about wizards being the greater people, they were very quick to resort to physical violence”

Harry’s vision swam with images that he did not want to see. His mind was everywhere, picturing thousands of ways Malfoy could have been hurt. He didn’t want to see them and as much as he had said it was in the past, he wanted to go back in time and find each of those wizards, he wanted-

“Potter!” Malfoy’s voice was sharp and Harry snapped back into himself. He looked around it surprise and saw that Malfoy’s legs were covered in ink. Harry’s quill had exploded. He felt it on his face.

“Shit sorry” He rushed, pushing his parchment out of the way of a rather large puddle of ink running across the window sill. He avoided looking at Malfoy. He could feel his face heating.  “I’ll go and get-”

He didn’t finish, just got up and went to the horrid orange door.

He was such an idiot! Why did his magic have to play up now?

He grabbed a bright blue flannel that sat upon the two towels in the bathroom and ran it under cold water. He squeezed it. He found that actually cleaning up stuff did a far better job than magically cleaning it.

As he squeezed the cloth, he looked at himself. There were black spots all over his face and a few on his jumper. He cursed and ran the cloth quickly over his face, before rinsing it and heading back into the room.

Malfoy was looking down at his ink stained robes and Harry hoped that they weren’t too expensive, though, knowing Malfoy they probably were.

However, when Harry came closer to try and clean the mess, he caught a small smile on Malfoy’s face before it vanished.

“I thought you had control over your magic?” He asked, no trace of anger in his voice. Harry felt the ball of panic ease from his chest. Malfoy wasn’t mad, he knew it was an accident. Though it didn’t make it less embarrassing that he had lost control over the thought of Malfoy getting hurt. That hadn’t happened before. In fact, he could remember dozens of times in Hogwarts he had wished Malfoy harm.

But… there was a difference between school boy harm and coming to harm from adults. Harry could only imagine the things that Malfoy had to suffer at the hands of death eaters in his home.

“I’m sorry” He said again, not sure whether he was apologising for the ink or for what Malfoy had had to go through. When Malfoy didn’t respond, Harry wiped down the window sill. “I do have control over my magic, sometimes it acts up” He shrugged.

“Sometimes it acts up?” Malfoy asked incredulously. “Magic doesn’t just act up Potter”

“Well it does for me” Harry sighed. There was no point in getting defensive, he knew it was true. He knew there were issues with his magic that others didn’t have. “Do you want me to?” He asked, gesturing at Malfoy’s robes.

“No, it’s okay” Malfoy said, waving his wand and they both watched as the black stains vanished from the blue fabric. Harry was immensely glad that they didn't have to wear their auror robes for stake outs. “I think that we should do this differently” Malfoy suggested.

Harry breathed out and sunk into his chair, vanishing the ink stained cloth as he did “Differently how?”

“Take turns” Malfoy responded, looking down into the street “I tell something, you tell something, it would make it easier I think” He reached into his satchel on the floor and pulled out another quill and handed it to Harry.

Harry pondered this for a moment. It would make it easier, a bit less stressful. It also gave a way to move on from situations easier.

“Okay”

“Your turn then” Malfoy said, his voice too high from it’s normal pitch.

“I died” Harry felt himself blurt, and he clenched his fists as he realised what he had just said. But this is what they were doing right? This sharing thing. He heard Malfoy take a sharp breath. It wasn’t common knowledge that he did actually die. The ministry didn’t want the idea of an immortal wizard being spread round, not that he was. So they had lied, had said that Harry had only pretended to die, that Voldemort’s spell hadn’t hit him properly due to his weakened state and that his followers only saw what they hoped they saw. “That night, in the forest”.

“I...” Malfoy seemed to hesitate “My mother told me...about it...she said that you died, that the Dark Lord didn’t miss-cast” Malfoy’s voice was quiet and neither of them spoke as another wizard entered the building they were watching, just scrawled down the time and the appearance of the man.

Harry spoke once he put down his quill. “I can’t go near forests now” He said quietly, he didn’t know why he was telling Malfoy this,this wasn’t something that telling him would help. “They remind me of it”. He hasn't told anyone that, not Ron and Hermione, or Luna.

“I’m sorry” Malfoy looked at him then, an expression that Harry couldn’t read.

“You didn’t kill me” Harry responded.

They were silent and Harry knew Malfoy was trying to think of something to say. Harry leaned back in his chair, there was a weird feeling in his chest that had him shifting. It wasn’t uncomfortable, in fact he found he liked it, like something was lifting from his shoulders. He wondered whether Malfoy had the same feeling.

“What  did it feel like?” Malfoy almost whispered, looking down at his parchment.

Harry didn’t even flinch at the question, he learned not to when most of the Weasley’s kept asking him.

“I can’t remember” He said truthfully. “I remember afterwards, thinking that I’ll never forget the feeling, that the feeling of the spell hitting me would stay with me, but those thoughts are the only things I remember.”

“I suppose that a good thing” Malfy said after a pause. “It means it’s not something that you will constantly be reminded of, at least, if you can’t remember the feeling, then it’s easier to ignore?”

“I suppose” Harry answered surprised at how true the statement was.

“I knew it was you, in the manor” Malfoy murmured, rolling his quill through his fingers “I knew it was you before I saw Weasley and Granger”

“I...I know” Harry admitted. “It was part of the reason I testified at your trial” They were getting into difficult topics now, not that the ones before weren’t, but these, these were directly about the two of them.

“Of course you did” Malfoy muttered and he too leant back in his chair. “Why did you do it? Save me?” The last two words were accompanied by an eye roll that Gin would be proud of.

“I didn’t do it for me” Harry snapped “I did it because I didn’t think you deserved Azkaban, not like-”

“My father” At Harry’s look Malfoy rushed “I don’t blame you to be honest Potter, he did deserve it” The did hung in the air like a bad smell. Lucius died two years ago, a heart attack the Prophet had said.

“I’m sorry”

“I’m not” Malfoy said, grey eyes staring into Harry’s “I never did thank you for your owl” Harry felt his face heat at that.

“You didn’t have to” He had sent Malfoy an owl the night he had found out, the letter had held a simple apology, and tied to the owls leg, Harry had included a bottle of his finest firewhiskey, a ticket to one of London’s Wreck Rooms and a small note to enjoy himself. Harry had at first, thought it had been a bad idea, but then he remembered Parkinson’s story of how Malfoy used to smash things in the common room when upset. A thing they had in common it seemed, though Harry had favored Dumbledore's office. It wasn’t healthy and Harry had grown out of it, hoping Malfoy had too.

They continued to stare at each other before the sound of a car beeping its horn blared through the window. They both looked down and Harry snorted at the sight of one of the wizards coming out of the building flicking the driver off.

Malfoy jotted it down and Harry watched his long slim fingers as he did so.

“Malfoy-”

“Draco” Malfoy cut in, still writing, “I think it’s time we ditched the last names do you...Harry?”

Harry shivered at the sound of his name falling from Malfoy’s lips, the first time without scorn or sarcasm. It sounded...hopeful and suddenly, Harry’s want for him and Malfoy to become friends was beginning to look like a reality.

“Okay...Draco”. A smile broke out on Mal-Draco’s face, before he looked down at his parchment again.

Soon, they were both firing out words that related to the war at each other. Draco focusing on what Harry had been doing while hunting horcruxes, and Harry’s on what Draco had been doing before the war, his home life with Voldemort, his friends, his family. It was definitely uncomfortable, but  refreshing, seeing the other talk about the war that wasn’t his friends. Seeing from, not exactly the other side, but a view he wasn’t there for.

Harry learnt about Draco’s routine while at home with Voldemort, learnt that he liked to sketch while in his rooms, looking out at the manor grounds. He learnt that Draco hated peacocks but loved crups and had buried his father’s in the grounds after they had been used for target practice by his aunt.

Draco also learnt about Harry, not the chosen one. He learnt how scared Harry had been when he had found the fake horcrux with Dumbledore, that he had been there when Draco had disarmed him and when Snape had killed him. He told Draco about the connection he had shared with Voldemort, something he had been banned from telling anyone else by the ministry, which Draco also learnt about, something that he was not happy about, but understood why.

They spoke about the train ride in 6th year, the room of requirement during the battle. The fear they had both felt as the heat from the flames licked their skin. Harry found out that Draco and his friends had gone to Crabbes funeral, to find that they were the only ones there. Had seen the emotion behind those grey eyes as he recounted the moments when his body was lowered into the ground.   

Harry’s head hurt, not because of the things he was learning, though they certainly didn’t help, but because of the constant shifts his mind was going through. Things he thought were fact shifted into fiction and black holes started to be filled as Draco kept talking.

Once neither could think of anything more to say, they both sat there, staring at each other, not bothering to look down at the building anyone as everyone they had seen enter had left hours ago.

Harry couldn’t help himself as he asked “Do you maybe-um want to go for a drink after this?” Draco raised an eyebrow and Harry instantly felt panic. “I mean, if it’s okay”

“Right after?” Draco asked, a small smile on his lips that had Harry relaxing immediately.

“Maybe not right after”

“Tomorrow night?” Draco asked and Harry felt excitement run through him and he couldn’t stop the smile that broke out on his own face.

“Sure”  

 

Harry left out a sigh of relief as they left Robard’s office. It had been an easy sign off. The reports were neatly written up, thanks to Draco, who had done them apparently during his shift when Harry was sleeping, which lead to the meeting being no time at all as Robards had read through the writing and added sections of it to his own files. The Glasgow case was moved now to the unspeakables as they had the permit to search the premises without a warrant.

“Well then” Draco said, his grey eyes intense as they never left Harry’s “I’ll see you later tonight?”

“Yeah, should I meet you there or?” Harry felt like an idiot, but honestly he had never been out drinking with anyone quite like Draco Malfoy. What did they do now? Did they swap phone numbers? Did Draco even have a phone? It shouldn’t be this hard should it?

“Or what?” Draco asked.

“Forget I said that” Harry rushed “I-”

“I’ll meet you there at eight” Draco cut in, his eyes never leaving Harry’s.

It was the first time in his life that Harry felt grateful for Draco’s straight forwardness.

“Okay”

They smiled at each other before saying goodbye and heading off towards in different directions. Harry couldn’t believe it, he was going for a drink with Draco Malfoy and if anyone was to say that they saw Harry Potter madly rushing towards the floo’s with a grin on his face, they were surely seeing things.

  


The pub was blessedly nearly empty when Harry pushed the door open at exactly eight o’clock that night, hands cold from standing out in the alley opposite for the last thirty minutes from being there too early. He should have used the floo but he knew that he would have gone sparse waiting in his flat for the right time to leave. It was better for him that he left an hour early, not for his hands but for his nerves, it gave him time to think. Plus, he couldn’t just walk in an hour early, not like Draco would be there to see it but it seemed ridiculous to be there an hour early, just sitting there on his own so he had taken a walk around Hogsmeade to clear his head.

He shook his hands to alleviate the stinging from the heat of the pub and on reflection thought it would have been a good idea to bring gloves. Did he even own gloves? Hoary couldn't remember the last time he had worn any, let alone owned any. He’ll have to go buy some, it wouldn’t go down well at the Burrow if he was to turn up, hands nearly purple from cold. On that thought he should probably buy a scarf and a hat as well.

By the time he had reached the bar, he had compiled a list of necessities he should ‘probably’ buy and promptly shoved the list to the back of his mind to be forgotten as he ordered his drink. Should he buy Draco one so that he had one when he came in? Or would that be presumptuous? What if Draco didn’t like what he ordered? Then what. So instead he took his Doom Bar and made his way to one of the back empty tables near the fire. A perfect spot for watching the door while acting like he wasn’t watching the door.

He checked his watch and saw that it was only two minutes past eight and told himself that he shouldn’t worry that Draco wasn’t here. He really didn’t know what to expect from tonight's outing. What if they just sat there in silence? What if Draco thought Harry wanted to get him drunk to sleep with him? Harry coughed as that though went through his mind. What if Draco thought that!

It wasn’t that Harry didn’t hate the idea of sleeping with Draco, in fact he found he quite liked it but it wasn’t his intention tonight. In fact it wasn’t his intention ever as he knew how disastrous that could end, especially with them being auror partners. He cured his mind for supplying him with that train of thought. Had he started twitching? Why had he started twitching?

“Hello Harry”

Harry snapped his head up to find Draco standing there, a beer on the table and taking his coat off. How had he missed him come in?

“Hi”

“Tell me you didn’t come out without a scarf or gloves” Draco scolded as he slid into his seat, looking at the back of Harry’s chair where Harry’s own coat was folded over it.

“Umm”

Draco rolled his eyes and took a sip of his beer “Sorry I’m a bit late, there was an issue with my floo, you haven’t been here long have you?”

“That’s okay and no not really”

“Good, did you want to eat?”

“Maybe later, unless you want to eat now?”

“No i’m fine waiting, I had a large lunch”

“Okay”

“Did you hear about Scott?” Draco asked before taking another sip from his drink “He’s been sacked”

“What?” Harry asked. Callum Scott was what many would call the office ‘dick’ and honestly Harry was happy the bastard was gone “What happened?”

“Got caught taking potions from the evidence locker” Harry didn’t blame the look of glee on Draco’s face at that. Scott has always been one to preach about how it was disgusting how death eaters were allowed to work in the aurors.

“Oh Merlin that is priceless, who caught him?”

Draco’s smile turned into a full on smirk “Shacklebolt”

“No fucking way!”

Draco started to laugh, “He was down there with Robards and Crooker looking through the evidence list when he caught Scott using an undetectable charm”

Harry let out a bark of laughter at that. Of all the people to catch you stealing evidence, Kingsley was the last person you wanted it to be. “How do I not know about this?”

“Blaise told me just before I left, apparently the whole night shift turned up to watch him be arrested”

“I don’t blame them” Harry chortled as he took a drink of his own glass. He held it up once he finished “To finally getting rid of that prick”

“Here here” Draco smiled, clicking his own to Harry’s and both took a deep drink. Hey shared a smile once they were done.

“Imagine being caught by Shacklebolt...Merlin”

“I know, why he didn’t just act like he was there for an assignment or something I don’t know”

“Right! Of course the Minister for Magic is going to be able to see past a charm like that. Do you know what he was going to do with the potions?” Harry asked.

“Sell them I think Blaise said” Draco answered, shrugging “They’ll get who the buying was out of him in no time though”

“Yeah, they probably will”

Harry finished off his drink and leant back in his chair. He motioned towards Draco’s near empty glass “Want another one?”

“Do you want to order food as well?  I don’t really want to drink on an empty stomach”

“Sure, I’ll grab a menu” Harry leaned over to the empty table next to them and swiped the food menu, handing it to Draco.

“Thank you”

They both picked what they wanted and Harry headed up to the bar, ordered and made his way back with their drinks. When he placed the drinks back on the table, there was a slight scowl on Draco’s face.

“Everything okay?” Harry asked sitting down.

“Thank you, yes I just…” Draco stared at his drink before continuing “About this” Draco waved his hand between the two of them “I don’t want it all to be just about the past-I want-I want to be actual friends”

“I do too” Harry responded and he meant it. It was nice, to have someone else to talk to about what had happened but that wasn’t all he wanted this to be. He wanted that dream of him and Draco being friends to come true.

“Oh-okay then”

“Okay”

They stared at each other before Draco left out a huff of laughter “Well that was easy, a lot easier than I thought it was going to be”

“Why?”

“Honestly, because it’s us two and it seems that nothing we ever do turns out to be easy”

“That’s true” Harry nodded smiling “I’m glad though”

“Me too” Draco seemed to relax and sat back in his chair, his fingers circling his glass. “I never thought we’d see the day that we were actually friends”

“Yeah, it is a bit strange but I don’t mind”

The smile on Draco’s face was breathtaking and Harry had to take a drink to distract himself from his partner. Maybe that dream was impossible after all.

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